Explaining a dementia diagnosis to a child is a delicate task that requires patience, honesty, and compassion. While your instinct might be to shield your children from the reality of a senior loved one’s condition, children are incredibly perceptive and often notice changes long before they’re discussed. Open communication can alleviate confusion and provide the emotional tools your children need to cope with the shifting family dynamic.
Keep Explanations Simple and Honest
When introducing the topic of dementia, tailor your language to the child’s age and maturity level. You don’t need to provide a medical textbook definition, but you should avoid using euphemisms that might cause more confusion later. Start with the basics: explain that the brain is like the body’s command center, and for your loved one, it has stopped working the way it used to. Many experts recommend using analogies to help children visualize the condition. You might explain that the brain is like a library where some of the books have fallen off the shelves, making it difficult to find the right memories or words. For younger children, you can simply state that their grandparent has an illness in their brain that makes it challenging to think, remember, and feel the way he or she used to. Crucially, emphasize this is a sickness they cannot catch like a cold or the flu, ensuring they don’t fear for their own health or yours. Consider hiring a professional caregiver if you need someone to provide care to your loved one. There are many reasons seniors might need assistance at home. Some may require regular mental stimulation due to a dementia diagnosis, while others might only need part-time assistance with exercise and basic household tasks. Home Care Assistance is a leading Des Moines senior home care provider. Families rely on our expertly trained caregivers to help their senior loved ones maintain a high quality of life.Address Changes in Behavior Directly
Children often feel unsettled by the unpredictable behaviors associated with dementia, such as mood swings or forgetfulness. Instead of ignoring these moments, address them proactively to normalize the situation. Explain that the disease causes your loved one to act differently, not because he or she wants to but because his or her brain is sending mixed signals. Prepare your children for specific changes they might witness, such as:- Repetition – Your loved one might tell the same story or ask the same question multiple times within a few minutes.
- Recognition issues – There may be days when your loved one doesn’t remember your children’s names or who they are.
- Mood shifts – Your loved one might become angry, sad, or frustrated suddenly without a clear reason.
Validate Their Feelings and Fears
A diagnosis impacts the entire family, and children need a safe space to process their emotions. They might feel embarrassed by their relative’s public behavior, sad about the loss of the relationship they once had, or even guilty for feeling angry. Let them know that all these feelings are normal and acceptable. Encourage them to ask questions, even the hard ones. You might hear questions like “Will Grandma get better?” or “Will you get this too?” Answer these as honestly as you can. If the condition is progressive, it’s better to gently explain that doctors are doing their best to help but your loved one won’t get better. Avoiding the truth can lead to mistrust later on. Remind them constantly that nothing they did caused this illness, as children often internalize blame for family stressors. Your children may gain comfort from knowing their loved one is receiving the care he or she needs to live safely and comfortably at home. Some seniors only require help with a few daily tasks so they can maintain their independence. However, those living with serious illnesses may need more extensive assistance. Luckily, there is professional live-in care Des Moines seniors can rely on. Home can be a safer and more comfortable place for your loved one to live with the help of an expertly trained and dedicated live-in caregiver.Find New Ways to Connect
Just because a family member has dementia doesn’t mean the relationship has to end—it simply needs to evolve. Help your children find activities that don’t rely heavily on memory or conversation. The goal is to focus on the present moment rather than trying to force your loved one to remember the past. Try engaging in sensory-based or repetitive activities that can be soothing for both your child and your loved one:- Music and singing – Listening to songs from your loved one’s youth may spark joy and recognition.
- Simple crafts – Coloring, folding laundry, or sorting objects can be done side by side.
- Looking at photos – Even if your loved one doesn’t remember the specific events, looking at bright, happy pictures can be a positive shared experience.
- Physical touch – Sometimes, holding hands or brushing hair communicates love better than words can.